I have sex with different people: occasionally at the same time; sometimes on the same day; often within the same week; and definitely within the same month.

Does that make me a slut? Well yes, it does (and I happily affix the label to my chest). Does it make me a bad person? No, it doesn’t. And this is why:

Because I love every one of them. I communicate with them, I nurture them, and I am open with them. And we have a hell of a lot of fun, too!

I love my partners. My civilly-unioned husband, my pet, my owner, my boyfriend and his wife, our girlfriend, and my friend-with-benefits. Some I see every day or every week, while others are more sporadic, working around other partners and family commitments. One even lives in Australia! But there’s sex of all types (not just the standard penis-in-vagina that’s assumed whenever the word “sex” is mentioned) with all of them. Along with other relationship stuff too, naturally.

I communicate with my partners. Easy to say and hard to do, oftentimes! Not only does the amount of face-to-face time vary, but the way each partner prefers to communicate is also different. My overseas partner and I primarily use text chat, but have learned that we manage much better if we have a regular voice-date once a week as well. Handily, that often also leads to very hot cyber-sex too. Some partners like to email, some to ring sporadically. Our girlfriend likes seeing us in person so treats us to Sunday brunch every few weeks – and gets herself some snuggles while she’s at it.

It is also important for me that I regularly “check-in” with my partners and see if they are okay with how things are within our relationship, and the wider relationship web. With my husband this can be as minimal as me semi-jokingly asking if he’s “sick of me yet” – a good chance for him to say “no, but …”, which then gives us a chance to clear the air of whatever niggle may have been building up. For my pet it still can need an evening of takeout and discussing where things are going in our relationship. Part of that is the length of time we have been together, while part of it is the way the two different relationships are structured. We do what works for each.

I nurture my partners. I want them to see why I find them attractive mentally, emotionally and physically. I want them to believe I find them hot when I take every opportunity to perve at their arses (and tell them so). I want to experiment with them, have new experiences with them, enjoy amazing orgasms with them, have unfortunate disasters with them (and laugh later on with them). I want to help them to grow and love and open themselves to the world.

I want to be nurturing of my lovers as well as of the relationships they are in with me. Because it’s not just about the relationships I have as a polyamorous person. It’s about the people I love.

| Curvaceous Dee
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