Many people are scared of dying. And being scared of dying, they’re also scared of places that are about dying. Unfortunately this includes hospices. Why unfortunately? Because hospices are actually amazing places!

(I’m not scared of dying. In part, that’s because of my experience with hospices. This should tell you a lot about how much they have impressed me.)

In my experience, hospices are all about giving people who are dying a whole lot of dignity. Which is good, because the process of becoming sick, going through hospitals and treatment and more treatment? That strips pretty much all dignity from you.

Hospices are nothing like hospitals. There’s beds. There’s nurses. There’s doctors. There, the similarity ends. The entire focus is different – hospitals are focused on getting sick people better, and usually in a hurry. Hospices aren’t trying to do that. There’s no rush. They’re all about building that dignity back up, and giving people back some choice in their lives, and in their death.

Hospices aren’t just about the last hours or days that people have left to them – although they’re mightily important then as well. Hospices come into the picture as soon as treatment goes from active to palliative – e.g.: whatever it is isn’t fixable, so let’s make sure the pain is minimised and quality of life is maximised.

Dignity in this case can mean a lot of different things. It can mean providing respite care a few times a year so that stressed out family members (like me) can have a break. Not to mention so patients can be waited on hand and foot! It can mean social days every week so that people using hospice can make friends, eat cake, and have a little pampering. Or it can mean arranging for little wishes to come true, with some help from sponsors and friends.

Dignity can also mean regular nurses visits at home, coming by to see that medications are doing what they should and that there aren’t any issues. It can mean arranging a walker or wheelchair or even a mobility scooter if it becomes necessary. It can mean liaising with GPs and medical specialists, making sure that everyone that needs to be talking together for the good of the patient is actually doing so.

Hospice is amazing because the focus is on the patient. My brother was one of the patients of Mercy Hospice in Auckland for a long time – over five years – and in that time he used their respite service many times, was a regular at their Open Door social days, did three years of the Pukekohe racedays, met the Prime Minister, attended musicals and operas – and was a full user of their visiting nurse service, not to mention the loans of their equipment.

And, eventually, a year ago on the 10^th on November, he died in one of their beds. I was right there with him, and he died peacefully and with dignity, in a lovely sunny room with open windows and a gorgeous view.

Hospice may be for the dying, but there really is nothing to be scared of.  And next year, I’ll be volunteering there. It’s the least I can do to say thank you to them.

| Curvaceous Dee
www.curvaceousdee.com