In this fourth and final column in the series about dealing with “P” addiction, we am going to explore what most people would agree is the hardest part in recovery – getting on with life.

The reason this is so hard is because someone who has been addicted to a substance (including “P”) has slowly but surely integrated it into their life. In fact – it is their lives.
For some, their life has been centred on acquiring (scoring) and taking their substance of choice. Often they have distanced themselves from or lost contact with people who don’t use (or use moderately); the only people they associate with are also addicts and drug users. These communities have their own social norms, language and rituals which serve to insulate (and isolate) the users from the non-users – the “straight” world. There are good reasons for creating this insulation as contact with straight people increases the risk of detection and possible incarceration. It’s not surprising that people who’ve been using for a long time can find it hard to adapt to the norms of the “straight” world.
Other mainstays of life (employment, sport, home) may have been lost. The user’s sense of self in the “straight” world is diminished. In recovery they often have to start at the beginning, redefining who they are, what they have to offer the world, and how they can feel happy without the use of drugs. It is all about finding a new sense of self and a ‘tribe’ – a place to belong.

Another challenge for those in recovery is that we live in a society that hypocritically and paradoxically condones (and some would say encourages) the use of the drug alcohol, yet vilifies people who use illegal drugs. This is a double-edged sword for those in recovery – on one hand they have the stigma of being a ‘dirty drug addict’ and on the other a non-drinking ‘wowser’. As people in recovery are usually abstinent for a period of time, this is yet another hurdle to fitting in. In fact a lot of people make a conscious choice to only mix with others in recovery for the first year. This is a way to reacquaint themselves with the social norms of the “straight” world, build their confidence and resilience, and not be hassled to drink alcohol. My limited experience with attending things like AA, NA or other recovery support groups is that the courage, honesty and integrity of people in recovery is inspiring. It is not uncommon for people to say their lives have been enriched by their drug using experience.

As queer folk, we know what it is like to “not belong” and understand the impact of stigma and prejudice. This gives us insight into the challenges facing people in recovery. The best thing we can do for the courageous people who are willing to take this journey, is to be their “straight” (ironic huh?) advocate, protecting them from those who, through misunderstanding or fear, give them a hard time. We can be the ones who accompany them to their first ‘straight’ party, and fend off the comments about them not drinking (or give them something that looks like alcohol to drink). We can stand up for them and beside them. It might be hard, but it is worth it and it could save their lives.
The road to recovery is a hard road to travel and sometimes it can feel easier to return to the drug-using community they feel comfortable in. Our job is to support people in this journey.

| Diana Rands and Sheridan Pooley
If you have concerns about your own or someone else’s methamphetamine use contact CADS on 09 8451818 to discuss this or you can call in to any CADS unit without appointment any weekday morning between 10am and 1pm and see someone face to face. Or visit our website 
www.cads.org.nz. If you live outside Auckland contact the Alcohol and Drug Helpline 0800 787 797.