With Christmas and the holdiay season apon us, now is the perfect time to be reaching out to connect with others. 
There are many things that can impact on how we connect with others. For some of us, Christmas and the summer holidays are a lovely time and it seems that every minute is booked: with work dos, the many activities that come with children, catching up with friends and family. But for others it can be a difficult time, especially when it seems that there are very few people to spend time with. There is something about these holidays that can heighten that sense of being alone. 


One of the tragic results of alcohol and other drug use can be the alienation from the ones you love, and it’s not until you start making changes and sorting yourself out, that the gap gets smaller. The people who love us of course want the best for us, even though it might not seem so to us at the time. 
If you are ready to reconnect, this is the time to be building bridges; making that phone call, arranging to catch up with old friends. Of course, you risk getting a negative response, so plan for this too, and only call when you are feeling emotionally strong enough. Having a supportive friend with you can help. Reconnecting might take a few attempts – give your friends/family/whanau time to get to know you again.


If you think your alcohol and drug use is getting in the way of having positive and happy relationships, how about you take that first step (even if you have done it before) and contact people who could support you to make changes. For people living in Auckland you can walk into any CADS unit from 10am – 1pm, Monday to Friday and you will be seen by a counsellor. Apart from the statutory holidays Auckland CADS is open through the Christmas break. You can ring OUTLine, Lifeline, Youthline, Alcohol and Drug Helpline – take a deep breath and give them a call, they will not judge you. You could also attend an AA or NA meeting (make sure you are not intoxicated before you go).


If you are planning to hold your own event, some tips for being a responsible host are:
Plan to do things other than eat and drink – this can include, dancing, party games, Singstar… 
Provide substantial food – not just chippies and peanuts (which are salty and make you want to drink more). Bread and dips are good, raw veges, cheese, sweet corn fritters, cold meats etc.
Offer water, coffee, and non-alcoholic drinks to your guests especially those who are getting trollied. 
Provide fantastic non-alcoholic alternatives, an excellent option is jugs of water with lemon and ice. Fancy mineral water is also great, along with those really divine organic juices.
Serve alcohol responsibly – topping up people’s drinks may have been the etiquette for the ultimate 1980s host, but your guests will not thank you when they get a D.I.C., or feel like crap the next day. There are only a few drinks between a great night out and something a lot less fun.


And last but not least – arrange for people to get home safely or even stay the night.
So wonderful express readers – I wish you all the best for 2012, remembering Leonard Cohen’s words of wisdom:

“Ring the bells that still can ring

Forget your perfect offering

There is a crack in everything

That’s how the light gets is.” (from the song “Anthem”)


| Diana Rands


If you have concerns about your own or someone else’s alcohol or other drug use, or if you’d like more information, contact CADS on 09 845 1818 or www.cads.org.nz or if you live outside Auckland contact Alcohol and Drug Helpline 0800 787 797.