I started my Tuesday morning by telling a complete stranger when I’d last had anal sex. Because she asked me. And because I’m me, I answered her, without blushing or stammering or in any way talking around the truth of it. I also, when she asked, told her when I’d last had a penis in my mouth, a mouth on my cunt, hands in wet places, and just how many partners I’d had in the last three months.

Why did she want to know? Because she was about to test me for Sexually Transmitted Infections, and all that sexual detail is Useful Information™.

Getting tested is easy, if not particularly sexy. But it is an essential part of my sexual life – and should be an essential part of anyone’s. Because I’m polyamorous, I get myself tested at least annually. I say at least because it can be more often.

Potential reasons for making an appointment:

1: It’s been a year, and it’s time for a check-up. This is just like a Warrant of Fitness, basically. Even though I practice safer sex, and my partners do the same, it’s always possible for something to break down. Having regular tests, and knowing my partners do too, means that if something has gone wrong it can be picked up without too much time passing.

2: There’s a potential new partner. This is why I went for a test on Tuesday. I’m interested in someone new (and they’re interested in me – hooray for mutual attraction!). Even though I was tested less than a year ago, and they were also tested quite recently, we’ve both had other partners since those tests. Having ourselves both tested gives us, and our other partners, peace of mind. Plus, it’s just sensible!

3: I show some symptoms. I’ve never had this happen – but I am aware that it could. One of the questions asked was if I was feeling any discomfort, showing any discharge, etc. Different STI’s manifest in different ways, and some like Herpes (HSV) are only tested for in New Zealand if there are symptoms showing, simply because the false-positives from those particular tests are too high otherwise.

Getting yourself tested for STIs is really easy. You can get it done by your doctor or your gynaecologist – often I will get my gynaecologist to do so when I go for a smear, and then write me a blood test for the rest of it. Alternatively, the Auckland Sexual Health Service is absolutely free, and you can make an appointment online or over the phone.

If you want to keep a record of your results, be sure to ask for one – but don’t just take their word, or take the word of a partner. Part of safer sex is not only getting checked, but also knowing that your partners are checked – and knowing what those results are. And then getting checked again, if and when you need to.

So when did you last make an appointment?

| Curvaceous Dee
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